The 'good's and the 'bad's and the 'why it's all worth it's

Good:

Two full buckets of hot water for my shower.

Our security guard at night, Dramani, who sits outside my window on the porch. He teaches me some Twi almost every night. We both have trouble with the other's language but never fail to end up laughing or smiling when I finally go to bed. His son, Mmsa is really shy, he's just turned nine. I gave him a small green little race car after he recited his abc's in English to me about a hundred times through my side window.

Amelia, I do think her name is spelled 'Emelia' though. She sometimes brings me little gifts, which is so sweet of her. So far she's brought home juiceboxes, a can of sprite, small thing of strawberry ice cream for both of us, and spicy fried plantian. It's not the gifts that makes her sweet of course, it's her personality, how thoughtful she is that makes me know I'll really miss her when I'm gone. She stayed up late a few nights ago to braid my hair, we sat in the living room as we tried to tackle my impossibly slippery white-people hair into braids. We eventually used my braces rubber bands to tie the ends. I wore them all the next day while I did tons of laundry with her looking over once in a while to laugh at how hard I was trying.

Sun dried everything. Talking about washing clothes, I love how everything is dried in the sun. All my clothes smell way nicer than they ever did from the dryer.

Food, it's taken me a while to get used to. Now I get kinda hungry when I hear someone starting to pound fufu out back. I've moved up to seed pounding by the way. I haven't pounded or 'driven' (when you sit next to the person who's pounding and turn and fold the kassava or plantian and mix the two together, picking out the bad parts) fufu yet but last week I pounded seeds used for groundnut soup.

Groundnuts. The peanuts here are so good, they sell them in small bags the size of a tangerine for 10 pesewa each.

Richard is really great. We'll have talks sometimes about America, Ghana, AFS, his family, my family, church, school, ect. It's really incredible that I was placed with this family, I feel like we fit really well. It's also really nice that Toni spent some time here before I did, in a way it transitioned both Richard and Amelia and I really well into my nine month stay.

Belinda, Mavis, Rosemund, the girls in my class. It took a small while but now instead of an oddity in class, I'm starting to feel like an actual student. I mean, when we read aloud my speed and accent sometimes get's the whole class into a fit of giggle and whoops, but that can't be helped. And it's hard not to stand out when your skin practically glows. When I was feeling like maybe I should switch classes, since Jonas and I are in the same class and we both agreed we didn't come to Ghana to slip into the comfort of hanging out with obrunis, the girls absolutely said no. Priscilla arranged to switch seats with me so I would be on the other side of the room and, honestly I like the window seat.

Knowing what to do. Some things are still really foreign but the few things culturally, food-wise, language-wise that I've got down make me feel really confident.

Speaking Twi, understanding what people are saying. I don't always know what everyone's talking about which is sometimes frustrating, but now that I'm speaking a bit more Twi I can get at least the topic of most of conversations. Still very basic Twi though.

Little kids. Sometimes it's too much (things can definitely be both 'good' and 'bad'), but when kids are showering you with love and singing to you it's pretty hard to not like it. When Jonas and I were riding out of school all of these primary school kids starting running after us, one even hoped on the back of Jonas's bike. The kid I like the most though is still Mmsa.

The sun. I am getting so tan, determined to "get brown" like I tell Richard. We joke that my papa will say "What!? I sent a white girl to Ghana and she comes back brown!"

The tv. Normally I don't like tv a lot unless it's certain programs that I watch online or Breaking Bad with Justin (We still have to get me caught up when I come home darling :) ). Ghanian soaps are also not my favorite, sometimes they're funny to watch because they're so dramatic though. But what I do like about tv here is the news. We get just one channel, GTV, that plays the news in Twi first then in English. It's really interesting to see another country's news program, the way they tell stories is very different. It doesn't glorify things as much. There's also a program that comes on Monday nights called Environment TV, it's good, it shows films on and talks about Ghana's environmental problems.

The school library. I still work in it every time we have Christian Religious Studies, about three times a week, and I really enjoy myself. The books are so dusty my hands are always filthy by the time I'm done but it feels really good to be helping the school in that small way. I always have people who offer to help and talk to me in the process (once again, 'good' and 'bad' thing, sometimes I feel like I have to defend my thoughts and beliefs too much) that make everything go really fast. Even if there's no one to talk to I just listen to my Ipod and have some me-time. I've organized the fiction (even though I have to re-organize it every time I come in), geography, french, accounting, and economics.

DANCE CLASSES. A few other volunteers have been coming to our drumming lessons and with the help of them and my previous teacher/classmate Ransford we're going to have classes three times a week for a while. It feels so good to dance again. So good, I just can't explain how nice it is to know that I'm working on improving my skills in what I want to do for the rest of my life. This just proves to me once again that dance is a universal language; get a bunch of different people from different countries and cultures and have them dance together, they'll be friends after one class. Plus, free of charge! Even though Eily, a German AFS volunteer and I talked about getting Ransford something when we stop classes. I think we'll all pitch in.

Of course there are a million 'good' things, but being realistic, there are 'bad' things too. Maybe 'bad' things would better be described as 'difficult' things.

Bad:

The view on women. Ghanian government has passed a law against beating women, but that's not really the discrimination that I face every day. It's in class when the teacher will pause from our reading to explain in detail how a woman should never leave her husband under any circumstance, but the man can leave, have multiple wives, for any reason he chooses. All this is because, according to him, the bible says that the woman is under man. Whew, I literally had to do some yoga breathing to get through it. It's strange because never would I want to disrespect him, and I know they're eager to hear my views, but sometimes I feel like it's better to just observe. I'm sure I'll get plenty of chances to advocate for women's rights here, but that just wasn't the time.

Education. Teachers will show up when they feel like it, which is sometimes never. Students from primary up are beaten because 'they won't listen to anything else'. My classmate wore her jacket all day even though it was blistering hot because her lashings from that morning were still fresh and she was embarrassed.The library. Students treat books awfully here, not saying I haven't dog-eared or carried around a book until it's cover has fallen off before, but the way they'll just start writing in them, like they're scrap paper. The way they crowd them on shelves, not stacked, just bent and open against other books. The classrooms. Uninspiring written on walls, and written on uncomfortable desks, and an old chalkboard is all we have to look at unless we're staring out the window or at the teacher. I guess I've just been so use to neat posters shouting happy messages at me from the front of the class, books lining the walls, a desk filled with pictures of the teachers family or favorite students, bright colors, clean plastic desks, and a janitor to make it all nice again during the weekend once we leave.

The fish (and the meat). I was just really starting to like fish in the US. I was preparing to eat a lot in Ghana since I know it's one of their more common foods. I'm lucky my host family doesn't eat a lot of it because of course then I'd eat it. The way the fish and meat is kept, hanging with flies in and on it, sitting in the sun. It's not so appetizing.

The homesickness. Sometimes it really is painful. I mean, I'm very used to being far from the ones I love, with parents who live on opposite sides of the country, a long-distance boyfriend for about ten months now, friends scattered across the country from New Orleans to Montana, but this is a different feeling. Whatever place I was in, when I missed someone I could turn to a friend, a family member, or something comforting and normal. Here it's not that way, although it's getting better, I don't always know what to do when I'm sad. I know going out and enjoying Ghana is what everyone's telling me and thinking when they hear I feel this way, but it's not always easy or even manageable. Sometimes I dream about home and curse the fact that I woke up. Sometimes I'll just sit and think about details of my house or room in Montana. No worries though. I have good friends and family in both the US and I'm developing them in Ghana. I know that I can always write to my parents, Justin, Grace, Rinnah, Tia, all the people who are so behind this trip and that makes me feel good. I know I can always speak to Richard and take comfort in Emelia.

The whole time-thing. Really there's no set time for anything. School will start twenty minutes early or an hour late, usually the latter. Also, as late as Ghanians are known to be, they never get up past 7:30. At least my family and all the families I've heard of. I take Saturday as my 'sleep-in day' and get up between 8:30 and 9:00. Once I tried to explain to Richard how on the weekends in America some teenagers, adults even sleep in until ten or eleven (even later sometimes, but I didn't want to shock him too much). Richard almost didn't believe it.

Internet connection! I didn't realize before how dependant I was on the internet, and honestly, I don't want that to change! I like being able to google everything and anything whenever I need it, I love watching music videos and TED talks, I like how my dad and I can share links to neat new sites, I like stumbling, and facebook, and skype and streaming music. How I miss wifi. Here I'm lucky if I can upload a few pictures, and really that's the peak speed of the internet here. Even internet cafes just have nothing to offer. I've bought a small modem for my laptop that I use about nightly to send emails, check facebook, blog post, ect. but it's very, very slow and a lot of times nothing uploads. I get the first three months free but I'm not quite sure what the price will look like afterwards.

Communication. Here nearly everyone has a cell phone. You'll get calls in the middle of the day that just consist of "Hi" "Hi" "How are you" I'm fine, you?" "Also fine" "Bye. It's like their way of texting "what's up?" Also 'flashing', since when you call someone it costs only you, people will call you and quickly hang up so you'll call them back and use your money. Don't like that. Especially with how I'm trying not to spend a lot. I really, really, don't know what I'd do if my money ran out. There's just no way you can't spend money everyday, the way food, cell phone credit (which I'm spending cautiously, really), and emergency situations pop all the time. Good thing I guess is the US dollar is worth more Ghana cedi.

Power outages, not a big deal, totally can handle it, but sometimes it's bothersome.

I miss being able to drink tap water, not having to take meds or wash my hands a million times a day.

Hand washing your clothes gives you little cuts on your knuckles that sting when you cook with pepper later, really bad.

Bartering. I really like having a set price. I mean I like a good thrift store deal as much as the next person, but I hate feeling like I might have been cheated. I have been cheated here already. I went to buy fabric from a place Richard brought me before and still being kind of new at knowing what two yards should cost I bought it for twelve when it could have been, should have been eight, maybe even lower.

"You're white! So you must be rich!" I was getting out of a taxi in Sunyani, he had only driven about a block, a really short distance. I just didn't want to get lost so I thought I'd ask a taxi to bring me to the Dormaa taxi station. When I got out he said fifty pesewa. I said that he had driven us a block and I certainly was not paying him fifty pesewa, maybe thirty. He said, and I quote "You're not rich? You're white." I gave him twenty pesewa. I understand it's cultural, they see white people and just think we have money, and most likely with the exchange rate, we do. Here in Ghana though, everything is extremely cheap so you can live on less. I'm thinking of when I come home, my plane ticket down to New Orleans, I'm thinking of credit to call friends and family, I'm not rich. People won't believe it, they just give this indifferent sort of shrug "Of course, you're rich, you're from America, everyone's rich there." And when I say that there are homeless people in America too, nice try, no one believes it. I hope while I'm here I can give the Ghanians I meet a realistic idea of what America is really like.

Religious talks, arguments, and people dead set on converting me. "You can't go home without becoming a Christian" said the library assistant. We get along better now after I told her that if she kept telling me what to think and do I wouldn't speak to her anymore. When I tell people "No, I don't go to church, I don't study the bible, I don't pray, and I don't believe in God" not only do I get shocked faces and disbelief I get straight up "No"s. Some people I meet just won't let it go. They aren't interested in sharing cultures or asking questions, they're just interested in changing me. I don't like that. Richard is extremely great about me going to church, he says of course I don't have to attend, it isn't right for him to push is religion on me in any way. I like that.

Views on homosexuality. It is actually against the law here in Ghana to be gay or lesbian. That doesn't fly with me at all. I strictly believe that people can love who they want, how they want, when they want (as long as it's mutually respectful, legal, ect.) Talking with the girls in class about it I had to say "I don't want to talk about this anymore." because I really don't want to get angry with them. It's just somethings they'd say... For example, I'd say that I know quite a few gays, lesbians, bisexuals in the US and all of them are great people (unless of course I don't think they're great for a reason other than them being homosexual). I said that they're people of course, that you shouldn't judge them on who they decide they're attracted to. They told me not be friends with them anymore, that they would all definitely turn me gay. Sure... So I've decided this is just not one of the things I'll ever like to talk about much here in Ghana.

I'm too passionate about some of these issues to do anything more than sit and listen to Ghanians views, I couldn't say my own without seeming a little harsh. I'll work on it, I really will, but I think most of the time I'll just back off of the topics.

And all of things are 'why it's all worth it'. I'm learning, I'm missing, I'm experiencing, I'm loving, I'm tasting, I'm disliking, I'm enjoying, I'm crying, I'm waiting, I'm holding back, I'm observing, I'm giving, I'm taking, I'm letting go. I'm a US foreign exchange student in Ghana, with a supportive great family, a wonderful boyfriend, an amazing set of friends, and experiences that will be there when I get home. I've got a lot of time and new things ahead of me. At the same time, I'll be barely here long enough to get in the swing of things.

I've got a trip to Accra to visit Dabney and her host family in two weeks, I'm really excited to have some pizza in the Accra mall! After that I'll have a week long study tour with my awesome AFS chapter. I've heard something about a surprise Halloween care package coming my way, that I'm all but bursting for! The lovely Lucianos are also sending me some basic survival needs, oreos, cheetos and the like (which I'm all psyched about sharing with my host family). After the DormaSS students start their exams I'm off to start volunteering for the DVTC, the vocational training center Richard manages. Doing what exactly, I'm not quite sure. I have a letter from Justin that's on it's way to join the other two sitting on my nightstand. I washed my two AFS shirts together, my 2010 one and my dad's old one. I wonder if there'll be a third joining that collection someday, I wouldn't be surprised. Of course, they'll do what they want. I'm seriously thinking about volunteering some of my time in Memphis to AFS.

Things are really starting to feel like I'm an exchange student. I guess there's nothing left to do but just embrace it.

Oh and Margaret told me today, We're leaving in eight months, to the day. Time does fly.